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When Stewie picks up a splinter from the old staircase, Lois decides to replace it. However, Peter can’t keep his footing on the slick wood and constantly falls down the stairs. When Peter finally gets tired of falling down the stairs, he moves into the bedroom permanently until Lois has the original stairs returned. Meanwhile, Opie is fired from the Pawtucket Brewery and Peter’s new co-worker named Stella is deaf. After Quagmire meets her, he is inspired to have a disabled ladies night at The Drunken Clam. Brian isn’t impressed by the pickings but decides to try his luck with a normal-looking girl at the bar. Brian cuts to the chase and asks her out and she agrees, telling him her name is Kate whom he later finds out is blind. After a pleasant date at the movies, she shrugs off his suggestion to join her in bed but starts to kiss him goodnight when one of the neighbor’s dogs start barking and she confesses how much she hates dogs. Brian manages to excuse himself without kissing her goodnight.

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When Stan gets into an altercation at a movie theater, he is dismayed when Steve runs for help instead of jumping in and resigns himself to believing that Steve isn’t brave. Meanwhile, Francine worries about being pregnant when her period is late despite the fact that Stan had a vasectomy. Stan is even more annoyed by this news but Jeff Fischer makes him think that it may be his chance to finally get the heroic son he wanted. Dismayed that his father isn’t giving him a chance and even plans on renaming him so he can name the new baby “Steve”, Steve goes to Roger for advice. Roger proposes disguising Steve as a superhero and letting him perform an act of bravery, then letting Stan “accidentally” discover that Steve’s timidness was a ruse. While Steve and Roger go out to buy a new camcorder to film Steve’s heroics, Stan paints Steve’s room in tribute to John McCain’s bravery. Stan anxiously awaits the results of Francine’s pregnancy tests but discovers she fell for an online hoaxer named “Dr. Vadgers”.

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When the family plans a surprise party for Meg’s 18th birthday, the only person to show up is Quagmire but his intentions to seduce Meg become quite clear. However, when he leaves without incident Peter lets it pass. Quagmire continues to flirt with Meg and talks her into going out with him. When Quagmire shows up for their date, Peter objects but Lois allows her to go out with him, telling Peter it’s just a ploy for attention and she’ll rebel if they try to stop her as Lois herself did against her father. After their date where Glenn fails to score but considers it just a temporary setback, he arrives in his home to find Peter waiting for him. Peter orders him to stay away from Meg but Quagmire points out that she’s 18, legal and ripe for the picking and Peter vows to stop him.

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It’s winter in Quahog, and Lois’ parents, Carter and Babs, take Stewie away on a trip. But when Carter falls asleep at the wheel, he ends up in the hospital. When Joe comes to take away his driver’s license, he wonders what he’ll do about his work. Babs and the family talk him into taking retirement. The guys and the Griffins suddenly find themselves stuck with Carter hanging out with them. Peter and Lois convince her parents to move to Florida to check out retirement communities, but after looking things over Carter refuses to consider living there until Peter talks him into giving it a shot for one day. After Peter takes him shopping and playing bingo, Carter comes to like it and the Griffins leave Carter and Babs behind and return to Quahog.

Six months later Lois gets a call from her mother that there is something wrong with her father. The family rushes back down to Florida to find Carter listless and unresponsive. While Lois and Babs worry, Peter hits on an idea of taking Carter back to his office at Pewterschmidt Industries Peter explains that his plan is to put some challenge back into Carter’s life and starts by issuing a series of instructions for the company until Carter snaps out of his funk and takes control again. Carter insists that he’ll never retire and they agree that they’ll never try to put him in a nursing home again. Just them Peter’s mom calls from the nursing home where she is to complain and tries to talk Peter into visiting for Thanksgiving while Peter remains non-committal. When he is finished, Lois makes sure she stays in the home.

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Stan hears of the church putting on the story of Christ at the mall and rushes to get the lead role, only to be told by Father Donovan that he is too fat. He is instead given the role of Santa Claus but when he finds out the Roger got the role of Christ attacks and beats him senseless. Shocked at the attack, church leaders around the world universally agree to kick Stan out of all religion. When Stan asks if there is any way to stay in the church, he is told it is almost impossible, given that the only three acceptable ways are to kill the anti-Christ, discover the Holy Grail, or donate large sums of money. Meanwhile, Jeff tries to talk Hayley into adopting a child. Hayley says no but Jeff adopts a child anyways and names him Nemo. Hayley at first is angry but is quickly charmed by Nemo. While Stan is watching Nemo, he discovers he bears the numerals 666 which is considered the mark of the beast and is convinced the child is the Anti-Christ. Stan gets Father Donovan to come see the marking and they agree to go to the orphanage where Nemo came from only to find it burned to the ground. as they search the remains of the orphanage, Father Donovan discovers Nemo’s birth papers. Nemo senses the Father’s discovery and causes the orphanage to collapse on him, severing his legs. Father Donovan is able to share that Nemo is indeed the son of Satan before he dies.

Stan, Roger and Jeff travel to the Vatican to obtain a set of sacred daggers to kill the anti-Christ. Although Stan is barred from entering, Roger and Jeff are able to enter the catacombs to search. Nemo sees them through the eyes of a rat and causes the catacombs to flood, washing Jeff away. Roger climbs out and finds the daggers and escapes with them after attacking a Cardinal. Roger and Stan return home to discover Francine putting up Christmas lights while a possessed Steve scampers around. When Stan tells Hayley that they need to perform a ritual killing of Nemo, she fights to protect him and ends up shooting Stan. Stan awakes in the hospital and finds everything is back to normal. He was accepted back into his church when it tuned out that Roger’s eggnog “pimp” cup was really the Holy Grail. Nemo was sent off to Alaska to be raised by Sarah Palin and become the future Anti-Christ.

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When former Griffin family neighbor Cleveland Brown returns to Quahog for a week, he visits his old friends Peter, Joe and Quagmire at the local bar. When Peter gets tired of his wife Lois constantly demanding for him to do chores, the group decides to take a road trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. While driving through a rural area in Georgia, the group is pulled over by a police sheriff, causing Peter to talk down to the sheriff. This results in the sheriff punching out one of their headlights, throwing away Joe’s badge, and planting a bag of marijuana in their trunk. He then takes the group to the county work camp where they are forced to perform various tasks including ditch digging and rock crushing.

Meanwhile, Lois, Donna, and Bonnie do some girl-like activity together where one of them involved tricking Brian into a bee costume.

As the guys’ stay in the jail supposedly comes to an end, the Warden then approaches them and tells them that their stay has been extended an additional thirty days. Another prisoner then tells them that his imprisonment was also extended and he has been in the jail for 45 years. Scared that they will also be locked up forever, they decide to break out of the prison once the prison guards’ eyes are diverted. Successful in their attempt, they soon come across a home, and discover a set of handcuff and shackle keys. They then find out that the home belongs to the Sheriff that originally arrested them. When the Sheriff returns home, Peter tries to pretend to be his wife while hiding in a closet, but he inadvertently jumps out of the closet and causes the sheriff to chase after them. The entire police force then comes after the group of friends, until they are able to jump on a train and and arrive in Quahog. The police force follows them, however, causing Joe to then reveal his own police force, and letting the group go free.

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The Griffin family decide to travel to the amusement park Six Flags, but when Peter is unable to ride the roller coasters because he is too overweight, he becomes disappointed. Peter’s two friends, Joe and Quagmire, then convince him to go on a diet in order to be able to ride the coaster. He is unable to lose any weight however, and simply decides to wear a girdle instead. The family then travels to Ohio in order to ride a new roller coaster titled The Holocaust. Able to ride the roller coaster, Peter gets on the ride, but it is unable to make it up the first hill, and falls under Peter’s weight. Deciding to return home, the car suddenly breaks down in Amish country, with no mechanic or any signs of modern civilization in sight. The family approaches the group of Amish workers and asks if they can stay in their village for the weekend. When Meg begins complaining about the lack of electricity, and other common devices, a local Amish boy, named Eli, decides to take her on a tour of their village. The two then begin to exchange kisses, but the boy’s overprotective father interrupts them, and instructs the two to never see each other again.

Meg approaches her father, Peter, about talking to Eli’s father to let his son date her, but when Peter tries to introduce him to music (in this case, “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC), he unintentionally turns the Amish community against him. They then demand that the Griffin family leave, who explain that they cannot leave until their car is fixed. The Amish then reveal that they have attached two horses to pull the car back to their home. Eli also decides to follow Meg, and the group then returns to Quahog. Later that day, the Amish follow the family to Quahog, and vandalize the Griffin’s home, resulting in Peter declaring war against the group. A battle ensues, with both sides equally matched. Peter and Eli’s father then begin to fist fight in order to settle the matter on their own, but when Eli stops his father, he tells him that he is truly in love with Meg. Eli decides to stay in Amish country, however, telling her that it is his true home, and the two embrace in one final hug.

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Deputy director Bullock announces they are bringing in Shannon Sharpe, a specialist to catch their previously escaped alien. When Stan meets with Roger at Coughy’s Coffee Shop to warn him, he spots Scarlett Reynolds, an old CIA boot camp crush. When Roger takes notes of her good looks and note he should try to take her out, Stan rudely dismisses the idea and invites Scarlett over to the house. At the house, Francine is annoyed with Stan mooning over Scarlett and heads to Roger’s Place for a drink. When Francine finds out that Roger is also irritated with Stan due to Scarlett, she suggests he put on a charming persona and break up the couple. When “Dan Ansom Handsome” arrives downstairs, Scarlett appears charmed much to Stan’s annoyance. Roger gives Stan an ultimatum of Scarlett or Francine, insisting that he’ll have sex with the one Stan rejects. Stan reluctantly agrees not to interfere with Roger and Scarlett.

Stan reneges on his promise and attempts to break up Roger and Scarlett, further strengthening Roger’s resolve to have sex with Scarlett to prove Stan wrong. Stan decides to tip off Shannon sharp about Roger and takes him to the ski chalet of his fantasies. Francine arrives to find movers removing Roger’s stuff as Klaus tells her about Stan’s plans to turn Roger over and is taking Roger’s attic space. At the ski chalet, Stan and Shannon arrive to find Scarlett and Shannon reveals that Scarlett is a rival alien hunter. Scarlett shoots Shannon and starts to do the same to Stan when Francine arrives and shoots her instead. Scarlett’s body rolls into the fireplace and bursts into flame, immediately becoming a pile of ashes. Stan and Francine both find Roger tied to a bed with his skin peeled and organs removed which he mistook for rough sex. Meanwhile, when in a rush to catch the school bus, Steve accidentally grabs a pair of Hayley’s panties from the drier. At school, Steve is struck with good luck, which appears to be confirmed when he plays lottery tickets with Klaus. At school during a game of dodge-ball in gym class, the panties continue to work their magic but after showering, Steve returns to his locker to find them missing and spots Snot running out the door. Almost immediately bad luck returns. Steve tries to go to Snot’s house to get them back but Snot refuses to come out. Steve tells Hayley about the panties and she convinces him that the luck was all within his own power. However, she goes to Snot’s house where she finds him on the bathtub basking in the glow of her panties by candlelight. She beats him up and takes back her panties which she acknowledges are her lucky pair.

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While playing poker with the guys, Stan observes Dick trying out his avatar “Black Dick” to work out some frustration from losing. Francine calls and warns him that he is about to miss Steve’s birthday yet again. Stan rushes home with a stuffed rabbit full of heroin from evidence as a gift. Over home movies, Stan realizes he isn’t in any of them because he was always busy with other things. After Steve gives him the brush off from an invitation to a baseball game, Stan starts worrying that he may miss out on a chance to bond with Steve. Stan makes a desperate attempt to bond with his son by creating a busty blonde bombshell avatar, Phyllis, whom he sends Steve’s way. But as Stan feels uncomfortable with making out to his son through Phyllis, Steve feels the relationship is going no where and decides to take a girl named Chelsea to the school dance instead.

In desperation, Stan makes a offer through Phyllis to have sex with Steve that the boy gladly accepts. On the night of the dance, upon learning what he husband is up to when she arrives to the CIA building, Francine attempts to intervene. But unable to get into the avatar chamber, Francine takes a power lift mecha to the school and uses it to pin Phyllis down while Steve is in the bathroom trying to ready himself. Convinced by Francine that should just accept his life with Steve the way it is, Stan has Phyllis break up with Steve. When Steve attempts to hook up with Chelsea again, he finds she is no longer interested in him and runs home where he comforted by Stan. Though Francine points that that he caused the grief for his son, Stan is more focused on the fact that he was there for Steve.

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